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Tuesday, 7 January 2014

More Ways For More Sex

A study by La Trobe University in Melbourne found that 27 per cent of Australian women do not enjoy having sex.

Over half of the women included in the study admitted they had no interest in lovemaking, with body image, physical discomfort and dissatisfaction highlighted as some of the biggest factors why sex slipped down their list of priorities.

In America it seems women still share a desire for sex, however a lack of time and stress are reasons why they engage in less lovemaking sessions than they’d like.

Published last year, the annual WomanTALK study, which surveyed over 1000 women aged 18 and above, revealed 41 per cent of women were satisfied with their sex lives.

We look at the common reasons why women are doing the deed less often, and speak to the experts for advice on how to get the fires burning again.

You’re too tired

Forget about the headache as an excuse for getting out of sex. One third of women are too tired to even think about it, according to the WomanTALK study.

body+soul sex and relationship expert Dr Gabrielle Morrissey says sleep deprivation can easily leads to a low sex drive. “When we have adequate sleep our essential functions keep going and we can still do day-to-day tasks, but what we don’t realise is that our non-essential functions like our libido disappear,” she says.

Morrissey recommends sticking to a sleeping routine or making time for quick naps can help bring the spark back. “Look at the cause for lack of sleep and try to change it.”

You’re too stressed

Stress can put a big stop on stress according to the WomanTALK survey with 23 per cent of women admitting it’s the furthest thing they think about when feeling frazzled. When really, a romp in the sheets can be exactly what’s needed during times of stress.

This is because the endorphins released during lovemaking as well as the physical intimacy can have a significant impact on lowering stress levels.

A recent survey by Bupa found that one in three Australians believe having sex is a great way to de-stress, with women aged 35 its biggest advocates. But how do you put this knowledge into practice when it’s not on your to-do list?

Morrissey says a quick sex session is better than nothing. “At first it might seem like a chore. Then you realise if you do it for 15 minutes you will feel better for it.”

“It needs to be one of the things on the list of stress-relievers, like having a bath or watching a DVD,” she says.

You have no sex drive

Lack of interest in sex affects more than half of Australian women, according to the La Trobe University study.

And it seems some women are doing the deed out of obligation over interest, says American psychiatrist Dr Naomi Greenblatt. “[Women] are having sex for obligation, not enjoyment purposes,” she says.

But Morrissey admits there are ways to reignite the spark. “It is often lifestyle related, not hormonal,” she says. “Women are highly distracted.

The littlest thing can switch them off [thinking about sex]. It is a matter of isolating that cause and working out what is going on.”

And Morrissey says, by engaging in regular lovemaking can only stimulate your desire for more.

You’re single

The reason why might sound obvious, but single women revealed they would have more sex if they could, according to the WomanTALK survey. The American researchers found that 31 per cent of women felt held-back by singledom, and engaged in less sex than they’d like.

Closer to home, the number of dissatisfied singletons is only expected to grow. The Australian Bureau of Statistics predicts single households will rise from four per cent to 28 per cent by 2031, while the number of family households will fall from 72 per cent to 69 per cent over the same period.

Morrissey says the best way to address it is to decide what you're looking for, be that sex or a life-long partner. “You have to work out if you’re looking for a relationship or a casual thing and get out there and try to find that,” she notes.

You’re insecure about your body

Bad body image is the second biggest hang-up for Australian women when it comes to having sex, according to La Trobe University researchers.

While just 14 per cent of men admitted to being concerned about their bodies in bed, a massive 40 per cent of women said it was holding them back.

To turn this around, Morrissey says taking small mental steps can make a big difference to boosting self confidence. “Think about what you really like about yourself,” she says. “Have you got really great legs, or hair or another feature?”

“Just breaking the mould and wearing the pair of heels you haven’t worn for ages is a good start.”
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